Gram

My Gram passed away today. She was 96 years old. I asked Jonathon what he thought of Grama Renner and he said "Grama Renner was wonderful." She thought he was pretty wonderful too.

Casper Moutain

I had a doctor's appointment today in Casper. When I told Jonathon he said "we like that Casper mountain to go up." I was surprised he mentioned Casper mountain as we don't go up there often. Since he (in his own way) asked to go and my only plans were to return home and work on the house I told him we could go up there for a walk after my appointment.

It was absolutely beautiful on the mountain. The trees are turning colors, the pine trees smelled wonderful and it was so quiet, well, as quiet as it can be with Jonathon in the woods! We walked around Beartrap Meadow and then up to the "Egypt Egyptian Pyramids" as Jonathon calls them. At first, seeing Jonathon climb the sand piles and sitting on the edge creating his avalanches, made me think of his developmental age of five. As he played on those sand piles today I saw developmental growth.

Typically he would go off and play by himself, not sharing his experience with anyone. Not that he has never wanted to, he's just not been able to, but today he talked to me about his play. What his play looked like to him. How when he rolled the clods of sand down the pile he was creating avalanches and how dynamite would make an avalanche and that it would look just like what he was creating. Of course, his explanation was in his own language and way of explaining things, but I knew what he was trying to share with me. He SHARED an experience! He wanted me to see his world through his eyes and to experience the joy he was experiencing. I can't begin to express how huge a step this is for him! HUGE! ABSOLUTELY HUGE!

I'm glad he suggested a trip up the mountain today. I think we'll have to go more often.

Tooth Fairy

This summer, my niece, Rachel was spending time with us when she lost a tooth. After we returned home from taking her back to South Dakota Jonathon found Rachel's tooth on the bathroom sink. His wheels started turning the minute he saw the tooth. He picked it up, looked at it, looked at me, and said "can I use this Rachel's tooth for money dollars?" And he took the tooth to bed with him!

Rachel... Ya snooze! Ya looze!

Rachel is 13 so pretty sure she's past the tooth fairy. If not, Rachel, hit your Tooth Fairly up for "money dollars" and I'll vouch for ya!

 

Jonathon Meet Jack

The other morning I handed Jonathon his morning meds. Needing a drink to wash the pills down with Jonathon grabbed a partial Coke sitting on the table and slammed it down. He barely had the bottle removed from his lips before he let out a huge "YUCKY" and began a desperate search for another drink to wash the first drink down.
The look on his face sent my mind back to the previous night when Tim had commented that he had two days off in a row. A rarity for Tim, so he was going to treat himself to a Jack and Coke.
HOLY CRAP! Jonathon had slammed Tim's left over Jack and Coke! On top of his morning meds!
We were getting ready for a 3 1/2 hour car ride to my brother's house... needless to say, it was a quiet ride!

Smile

I am extremely happy to be able to report that Jonathon is doing really well this Fall! As I previously posted, Fall is a difficult time for him. For years we have seen huge increases in his aggressive behavior in the Fall. He's just unsettled, not happy. Not that Jonathon EVER wants to be happy! The thought of "happy thoughts" freaks him out and he will tell you that! This Fall has been different.

He is more tolerant, more attentive. Today has been a tearful day for me. Feeling overwhelmed. I was in tears and decided to take Jonathon for a walk to get out of the house. As we're walking Jonathon asked "Vickie Honey, (his new name for me) you are crying and sad. What's wrong with you? Huh?" I told him I was sad about a lot of things right now. He responded "After you are crying and sad we are here to help you smile." And we walked on. He didn't reprimand me and tell me not to cry. He let me cry. It was okay to cry.

I have no doubt he will help me smile again.

Fall

Fall has always been a favorite time of year for me. I love the cooler weather, the beautiful fall colors, Halloween and Thanksgiving. Thinking about it, it's a bit odd that Fall is one of my favorite times of year. Historically Jonathon struggles with his behavior more in the Fall. We have had some pretty horrendous blow ups in the Fall. Yet, for me, it's my favorite season. I think it's a testament to the human spirit. That our souls are capable of overcoming extremely difficult times to find joy in our everyday lives.

I am pleased to say this Fall Jonathon's overall level of anxiety has decreased.
We have had some bumps, but nothing like in the past. The reason for the decrease in anxiety, I believe, is he is "done with school forever" as he says.

Sturgis

In August, Jonathon and I survived nine days as vendors for the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Jeff Nicklus, from Desperado Motorcycles, generously donated Jonathon's vendor space so he could sell his Kurmudgeon Kards and T-shirts in Lead at the Desperado Junction. I went into the week with a some trepidation, but it was good.

Jonathon greeted every person who came past his booth with a "HELLO THERE. HAVE YOU BEEN TO DISNEYLAND?!" The one interaction that had Tim and I holding our breathe was when three Sons of Silence bikers came by the booth. Here are these three burly guys, wearing their jackets with SONS OF SILENCE across the back and what does Jonathon say "HEY MISTERS..." they all three turned and looked like they could poosibly rip our heads off... Jonathon continues "HAVE YOU BEEN TO DISNEYLAND?!" They mumbled "no" and kept walking... Tim and I suspect they have been to Disneyland, they just didn't want to admit it in front of their buddies!

An example of how simple Jonathon sees and lives his life. He doesn't see all the crap that we typical people see. He sees a person... regardless.

He has an amazing soul.

 

Sorry!

Sorry everyone! I just haven't felt like writing lately. Life's been hard since my niece's death, but we are moving forward, carrying her memory with us.

A few weeks ago Jonathon and I were dancing around the living room being silly. I thought how my niece would laugh at me if she could see us. Just as Jonathon and I stopped  dancing the song 'If I Die Young,' which was played at her funeral came on the radio. I started crying. Jonathon had his back to me, but turned and said "What?" I hugged him and he said (in a rather irritated voice) "you are crying and hugging me for lots of times Vickie!"
What progress he has made! For him to notice that I'm sad and to be able to verbalize that he's over my emotional state... that's PROGRESS!! There were many times when he had no idea why I would be sad or tearful. Progress can come for our kids. It just may take a bit longer.