Desperate Measures

The other day Jonathon woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm not sure what caused his mood. Usually he's easy going when he wakes up. As the day went on his agitation increased so my sister in law, niece, nephew and I decided to take him to the town park to throw rocks in the water... one of his favorite activities.

It was a cold day, a mere 14 degrees outside. Plus, the wind was blowing a bit so it was probably even colder with the wind chill. My sister in law and I sat in the vehicle while the kids went down to the water. After awhile my niece came to the vehicle and said Jonathon wanted us to come to the water, so we headed to the creek.

Jonathon rarely goes in the water so I was surprised to see his shoes and about 6" of his pant legs wet. When questioned about how he got wet he said he'd slipped on the mud and slid into the water. With it being so cold out I told him we needed to leave and go home so he could get out of his wet shoes and clothes. He was NOT happy with me. He wanted to stay and throw rocks and sticks in the water. After a few minutes of trying to convince him by telling him he could get frost bite, his feet could get sick, and him not cooperating... I got a little desperate... okay, I got a lot desperate! He wouldn't listen to reason as he was still in a bad mood, so I told him he had to get in the car or his feet would get sick and he'd end up a peg leg! I know... it's horrible! But I can't exactly pick up a 225 pound 6'2" man and put him in the car! It did work. He got in the car, we got home and he got out of his wet clothes. It isn't like I lied... I just gave the most extreme consequence.

Gone

Last night I took Jonathon down to his bedroom to show him the memory boxes I had put together for him to go to when he wants to "spend time" remembering his Grampa DeVries, Grama Renner and cousin, Kimberley, all of whom have passed away within a year and a half.

We looked at the pictures and talked about how he could put things in the boxes if he wanted to. He wanted reassurance that our hearts were alive and that we weren't dead. We came back upstairs, he sat down on the couch, turned to me and said "Grampa DeVries isn't coming back is he."

Jonathon's language is usually broken but this time he clearly stated what he knew to be true. I'm glad to see he is gaining understanding of death and yet my heart breaks for him. He has lost people who had great love for him... I think his statement was an acknowledgement of his loss.

I hope I can help him understand that he can carry that love with him throughout his life. He was and is very loved.

Halloween Memories

This is a true event! If you know my family... this is typical!

About nine or ten years ago, Jonathon was set on going up to South Dakota to scare all of our relatives for Halloween. He wanted to be Frankenstein.

We got him all dressed up and he scared the Grama's, the Grampa's, the aunts, uncles and cousins. On Sunday we were to head home, after stopping in Rapid City to scare one more person... my aunt Joyce. I got Jonathon dressed up in his Frankenstein outfit and we headed to Rapid City. We weren't very far down the road when my Mom called and said they were concerned, as no one had been able to get a hold of my aunt... the one we were going to scare. She was 78 years old at the time, so we were concerned.

By the time we got to Rapid City one of my uncles, a brother and the police were at my aunt's house. My aunt had passed away.

My aunt Joyce would have laughed at the scene that followed... her house was crawling with the police, family arriving, neighbors out on their lawns looking to see what was going on... and here's Jonathon... dressed as Frankenstein (with hair painted black and stiffened to create the perfect "pokey hair" - as Jonathon called it), green painted face with bolts sticking out his neck, walking around her yard making his Frankenstein noises and doing his Frankenstein walk ... and her... my aunt... dead... on the couch! I can only imagine the neighbors trying to figure out WHY Frankenstein would be walking around her yard at a time like this!

I had to giggle and think... ONLY IN THIS FAMILY!

Tallywhacker 2

What is up with this kid! He is obsessed with talking about his tallywhacker! I guess maybe I should be relieved... it could be a typical guy thing! LOL! Good Lord!

The other day his comment was "a perfectly good tallywhacker... WASTED!"

TALLYWHACKER!!!

Jonathon and I were returning home from South Dakota Sunday night. We were about an hour and a half from home when Jonathon decided..."hmmmm, that's right... I was ticked earlier so I think I will continue my rampage." When he is mad he will often bring things up that he knows are not appropriate. Sometimes he will do it to fuel his anger (it's hard to explain and I have yet to figure out why he does it, but he does) OR he will say things that he knows irritate the living daylights out of me. He decided to try to irritate me with the dreaded conversation about tallywhackers. (Yes, he knows it's really a penis, but he prefers to call it a tallywhacker... whatever... I have bigger problems to deal with than what he calls his body parts!) Soooo, for 20 minutes... TWENTY MINUTES... driving down Highway 59, I listened to "Does Vickie have a tallywhacker? Does... Vickie... have... a... tallywhacker?  Does Vickie have a TAL-LEE-WHACK-ERRRRRRR?
Did he suceed in irritating me... YES! Did I let him know he was irritating me... NO! I simply stated "when you can ask me a different question I will talk to you." Once I had a cell signal I had him call Daddy Tim so he could tell Tim how irritated he was with me. The phone call FINALLY ended the TAL-LEE-WHACK-ERRRRRRRR conversation... well that and a little bit of medication!  

Problem Solving

One of the areas I see growth in for Jonathon is the area of problem solving. He encounters what he perceives as a problem and he is coming up with his own solutions. It may not be a practical solution but at least he's actively thinking about the situation and is showing concern for others. That is HUGE for people with autism. To think outside their world and to think of what others needs might be!

For example when my father in law, Ron, died a year and a half ago Jonathon was worried about Grama DeVries being by herself so he suggested his Uncle Kim, who was separated from my sister, marry Grama DeVries! That would've been an awkward wedding! LOL! Instead "Uncle Johnny DeVries" spent a good deal of time with my mother in law after Ron passed away.

Now with Grama Renner dying Jonathon is worried that Uncle Clayton or "Uncle Clankton" as Jonathon calls him, will be all alone. My uncle lives in an adjoining apartment from my Grama Renner. In these last years of her life Clayton was her primary caretaker. Jonathon with his problem solving has decided that "Uncle Johnny DeVries will live with Uncle Clankton." I guess he figures that Uncle Johnny DeVries took care of Grama DeVries after Grampa DeVries died so he should be able to care for his Uncle Clankton too!

I love how his mind works! I don't think I'll ever totally understand it, but he is definitely unique in his thinking!

To Participate... Or Not?

My aunt has requested a period of time during my Grama Renner's funeral to be opened up for people to share their memories. I thought, okay... we have a couple of days, I can visit with Jonathon and see if he has anything he would like to say about Grama Renner.

I think we may need to visit a bit more before Wednesday since his comment so far has been, "I am sorry Grama Renner is dead."

Perhaps we'll skip participating during the open mic portion and just listen!