Saturday, March 31, 2012

'Mirror Mirror'

I'm coming to the realization that I have a love/hate relationship with Disney. Yes, they have brought years of entertainment to Jonathon. Yes, they have helped Jonathon gain knowledge about this world he may not have gained otherwise... BUT... sometimes, they simply make my life hell! For one thing, they changed the release date of 'Pirates, Band Of Misfits.' That has gone over like a lead balloon in our house! Then, Jonathon and I went to see 'Mirror Mirror' yesterday. Ugh! Sometimes I think our lives are a reality show and no one has bothered to tell us because the crap that pops up really is unbelievable!

In the movie 'Mirror Mirror' they have little people playing the dwarfs. What are the chances, after watching that movie, that we would cross paths with a little person... in Casper WY, of all places? Like, how many little people even live in Casper? There's probably like ONE! Yep, you know it... we ran into a grocery store after the movie and who do I see walking down the aisle towards us... a little person! I'd like to think I was praying, but, no, it was pure groveling! My thoughts were pretty much, "REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! PLEASE GOD! DO NOT LET JONATHON SAY ANYTHING! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! JUST FOR A BRIEF  PERIOD OF TIME LET JONATHON BE MUTE!
PAA-LEEEEEE-ZZZ!"

It was all playing out in my head... Jonathon walking up to this little person and saying "HELLO THERE little dwarf man from Mirror Mirror!" "Are you going to steal my gold? Where's your long legs? Where's Snow White? Do you live in a tree? Is your name Chuckles? Are you going to steal my clothes?" I considered ducking behind the chip display and falling to my knees to let God know the urgency behind this prayer, but... I decided I should probably start thinking of my explanations to this little person! I hate being caught off guard. I tend to ramble in unexpected situations. I could see myself saying "I'm so sorry. We just got out of the movie 'Mirror Mirror' and there were little people playing the dwarfs and your a dwarf and so Jonathon is drawn to you and your dwarf size. We really don't say dwarf, because dwarf is not "People First Language." "We would say little people, but you're the first little person he's ever seen, so he sees you as a dwarf, because of the movie, not because WE say dwarf. We don't. I assure you we DO NOT SAY DWARF!"

I caught myself NOT BREATHING as this little person got closer and closer. I might have even been wincing as I waited for the oncoming collision.... Jonathon getting closer...closer.... and... here it comes... bracing....... bracing.........   "HELLO THERE! HAPPY SPRING!" and he kept right on walking!

I felt like a deflating balloon as I let out a sigh of relief! I think I may have even mumbled... "THANK YOU BABY JESUS!"

Jonathon greeted that young man as he did every person he encountered last night. "HELLO THERE! HAPPY SPRING!" He is an amazing soul.

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