Recently Jonathon was invited to sell his Kurmudgeon T-shirts at a bar. Tim and I were a bit skeptical. Did we really want to expose Jonathon to a bar environment? We weighed the pros and cons.
Super Pro – People are drunk, especially on St. Patrick’s Day, he could sell a lot of t-shirts!
He is 21 now and many 21 year olds do go to the bar.
Jonathon drinking was not a concern. He has picked up the occasional beer or wine cooler, that was sitting around, taken a swig and was not impressed! I think his exact words were “YUK! THAT’S DISGUSTING!”
Cons - would intoxicated party goers be verbally mean to him?
Would he handle the loud music?
Would he enjoy the type of music?
Would he handle the yelling, drunken rants, and verbal altercations?
Would he be bothered by the cigarette smoke?
So, okay, weighing it out we had a TON more cons than pros, but we decided to take him.
It’s hard, with Jonathon, to know how much information to give him. Too much or too little and we have huge behavior issues and, believe me, we seem to screw it up often! We either give him too much too soon, or not enough too late! I had told him a few days earlier he would be selling his t-shirts. I waited until just before we left to visit about how he needed to behave at the bar. We have learned over the past year that he is more successful if he knows beforehand what his role is in a particular environment. Using this technique would not have worked a few years ago. He is at a point in his development where he is open to hearing, from us, what is expected of him. Now that I think about it… is it natural maturation on his part or ours for dealing with the autism?! J
I tried to picture things in the environment that would be attractive to Jonathon. The pool table and the dart boards… definite enemies of the evening! When I visited with him I told him there would be dart boards and pool tables. I talked about how I knew he liked to play pool and throw darts, but his job that night was to sell t-shirts. If he wanted to play pool or throw darts, he and Daddy-Tim could go back a different night to play. His job was to stand by his table and sell his t-shirts.
I don’t drink, but a Prozac Smoothie didn’t sound like a bad idea for this bar room adventure! The bar was everything you’d expect from a rural Wyoming bar. A darkened smoke filled room where the corners were overflowing with cast off equipment. Wouldn’t ya know it… they put us in front of two dartboards! Unplugged dartboards, but still not a good situation!
I am very pleased to report that behaviorally Jonathon was absolutely AMAZING that night! He ignored the pool tables and dartboards! He stood by his table. We walked through the crowd so he could hand out business cards and his story about the business. He did a fabulous job! He even ignored a couple of crazy drunk chicks who got into a screaming match right by our table. Well, I guess I can’t say he ignored them. He was busy doing echolalia. If he noticed them I think he thought it was normal for that environment. Everyone has to yell at each other just to be heard.
Sale wise… we sucked. He sold three t-shirts and we donated two to the Hippo-therapy program that was fundraising that night. Oh well. What we gained that night was more valuable than money. Jonathon gained increased access and knowledge to the world. It isn’t easy to take/expose Jonathon to new situations, but is it in his best interest? YES! It would be easier to stay home with him and keep him in a predictable environment, but life isn’t predictable. I feel strongly that for our kids to understand the world they have to be IN the world as much as possible! Parents who avoid taking their kids to the grocery store, or Wal-Mart, or where ever need to ask themselves – who is it easier for to stay home? The parent or the child? My message to parents… get off your asses and take your kids out in the world!!
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