SNAPPED

Jonathon woke up in another mood today. I always know it's going to be a challenging day when he dresses before coming upstairs. He didn't disappoint! I headed off the "mood" with his "as needed medication" - it's only used when his anxiety and agitation are escalating or escalated. The meds helped him pull it together, so I decided I would take him to the grocery store to get his favorite lunch, chicken strips.

The grocery store only makes certain food items on certain days. Wednesday is chicken strip day. We have had melt downs over going to the store on different days of the week and it not being "chicken strip day." The poor women at the deli have been chewed out by Jonathon over the lack of chicken strips, so our relationship with the deli ladies is a bit strained.

We walked up to the deli counter... I looked in... and... NO CHICKEN STRIPS!

The melt down that followed... mine... not Jonathon's, can only be understood by a mother of a child with autism. I felt the blood drain from my face and my eyes pop out of my head as I snapped... "Isn't today Wednesday? Where are the chicken strips?!" 

I could tell she was a little taken aback with my tone. In that moment what she saw was a woman who  seemed like a rude, almost crazed person. What she didn't see is what brought me to that moment. Five days of blow ups. She didn't witness the melt downs, the physical assaults to his Dad and me, the damage he's done to our property, us chasing him down to keep him from damaging other's property, or us tracking him down in the middle of the night. It wasn't about the chicken strips... it was knowing that no chicken strips meant I would have yet another fire I'd have to put out with him... and at this point... I'm worn down... I'm tired.

Any other day I could have handled it, but today I just needed those stupid chicken strips to be in that deli case. Thankfully she assured me that today was, indeed, Wednesday and that they had run out and were cooking more.

THANK YOU GOD! It was practically a Christmas miracle! :)